Today I lost my way.. & that's ok

To sum it up.. I've had a rather shitty week.. yep... one for the books. But I'll tell you this.. it wasn't all doom and gloom. I've just felt... disconnected to myself in a sense.

I was working full-time, going to school full time (4 classes this semester), handling my daughter's health problems, my own health issues, and trying to still be wife of the year.. did I mention I'm also trying to run a successful and meaningful business? I know... that's a lot.

I'm not here to step up onto a soap box and cry about woe is me, but I try and be the most genuine person you'll meet, and in keeping true to my word, I'm raw at times too, and this week, I lost my way, and now, I see the light (thanks full moon)!

Had a beautiful evidential spirit reading today with a lovely lady named Abbie (https://www.facebook.com/abbiewithspirit/) and oh boy did I need it. I could just feel I was off, and not coping well, and I was lost in my path. My reading today redirected my focus. It made me focus (I have ADD.. the struggle is real). I didn't realize how disconnected to myself I had become.. and that I was letting my own fears trap me. You see I grew up in a household where my dad let my mom be the matriarch of the family while he just put the minimum enough effort in... I mean providing, but not really there. My mom is not a confident leader, and that's okay, not every one is.. but every so often I find myself trapping myself down with her fears. (Side note, this is a severed relationship, with some trauma following along with it). Today I decided I needed to find my light again.

My grandpa (my best friend), told me through Abbie that I needed to be my confident self again. I needed to shine my light and not to let others take it from me.. cue the "this little light of mine song". I have been surrounding myself with white light energy lately, but not really absorbing it. Now is the time for me to shine. I love this song.. she's a new artist I discovered on Tiktok named @emmymelimusic, check her out, she needs to go viral... "I am woman, I am fearless, I am sexy, I am Devine, I'm unbeatable, I'm creative, honey you can get in line, I am feminine, I am masculine, I am everything I want, I can teach ya, I can love ya, if you got it going on.... Between my reading and this beautiful song I have found my clarity

I've really been tapping into my soul's purpose lately, trying to figure out exactly why I am here, exactly what I need to do to fill my cup, and those around me... Being a death doula is one part, I'm looking at offering Reiki as well, I'm dabbling in Tarot, and in November I start a workshop series in Vancouver that would teach me how to work on my physic ability and mediumship. I need this. And guess what.. I'm guessing by the way the word is right.. pretty sure you all could benefit as well!

So today I choose purpose. No more letting others use or steal my light. I will lend some light, I will help heal those that need it, I will teach those that need help, I will spread my love and kindness (just as my grandpa taught me), but I will not let anyone steal it and keep it for themselves anymore. So here I am, raw, vulnerable, genuine and true.. why don't you join me?

~Holly Medina, Chickadee Collective.